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A Hole in the World: Finding Hope in Rituals of Grief and Healing

A Hole in the World: Finding Hope in Rituals of Grief and Healing

by Amanda Held Opelt
A Hole in the World: Finding Hope in Rituals of Grief and Healing

A Hole in the World: Finding Hope in Rituals of Grief and Healing

by Amanda Held Opelt


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In a raw and inspiring reflection on grief, a mourning sister processes her personal story of loss by exploring the history of bereavement customs.​

When Amanda Held Opelt suffered a season of loss—including three miscarriages and the unexpected death of her sister, New York Times bestselling writer Rachel Held Evans—she was confronted with sorrow she didn't know to how face. Opelt struggled to process her grief and accept the reality of the pain in the world. She also wrestled with some unexpectedly difficult questions: What does it mean to truly grieve and to grieve well? Why is it so hard to move on? Why didn’t my faith prepare me for this kind of pain? And what am I supposed to do now?
Her search for answers led her to discover that generations past embraced rituals that served as vessels for pain and aided in the process of grieving and healing. Today, many of these traditions have been lost as religious practice declines, cultures amalgamate, death is sanitized, and pain is averted.
In this raw and authentic memoir of bereavement, Opelt explores the history of human grief practices and how previous generations have journeyed through periods of suffering. She explores grief rituals and customs from various cultures, including:

  • the Irish tradition of keening, or wailing in grief, which teaches her that healing can only begin when we dive headfirst into our grief
  • the Victorian tradition of post-mortem photographs and how we struggle to recall a loved one as they were
  • the Jewish tradition of sitting shiva, which reminds her to rest in the strength of her community even when God feels absent
  • the tradition of mourning clothing, which set the bereaved apart in society for a time, allowing them space to honor their grief

As Opelt explores each bereavement practice, it gives her a framework for processing her own pain. She shares how, in spite of her doubt and anger, God met her in the midst of sorrow and grieved along with her, and shows that when we carefully and honestly attend to our losses, we are able to expand our capacity for love, faith, and healing.

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781546001898
Publisher: Worthy
Publication date: 07/19/2022
Pages: 256
Sales rank: 71,450
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.20(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Amanda Held Opelt is an author, speaker, and songwriter.  She writes about faith, grief, and creativity, and believes in the power of community, ritual, worship and shared stories to heal even our deepest wounds.  Amanda has spent the last 15 years as a social worker and humanitarian aid worker.  She lives in the mountains of Boone, North Carolina with her husband and young two daughters. 

Table of Contents

Introduction: Ash Wednesday 1

1 Keening (Anguish) 15

2 Covering Mirrors (Change) 33

3 Telling the Bees (Fear) 49

4 Sitting Shivah (Presence) 65

5 Casseroles (Body) 81

6 Postmortem Photography (Memory) 97

7 Sympathy Cards (Words) 114

8 Wearing Black (Candor) 129

9 Tolling the Bell (Endurance) 146

10 Funeral Games (Joy) 164

11 Death Rooms (Mortality) 180

12 Decoration Day (Honor) 198

Afterword 217

Acknowledgments 229

Notes 233

About the Author 243

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