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I'd Like to Play Alone, Please: Essays

I'd Like to Play Alone, Please: Essays

by Tom Segura
I'd Like to Play Alone, Please: Essays

I'd Like to Play Alone, Please: Essays

by Tom Segura


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Notes From Your Bookseller

We love a triple threat comedian — one whose stand-up makes us laugh, followed up by podcast hosting duties AND THEN a round of late-night talk show appearances. It stands to reason that we will now get to hold all his humor and observations in our hands with the release of a book.

From a massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more. 
Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra. 
In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet. 
I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have readers laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781538704639
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Publication date: 06/14/2022
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 8,233
Product dimensions: 6.20(w) x 9.00(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Tom Segura is a comedian originally from Cincinnati, Ohio. Well known for his Netflix specials Ball Hog, Disgraceful, Completely Normal, and Mostly Stories, Segura has also made feature film appearances that include Instant Family, Countdown, Flinch, and The Opening Act, among others. Tom is one of the top selling touring acts in the world, having sold hundreds of thousands of tickets on multiple international tours. Additionally, he co-hosts two of the most popular comedy podcasts, "Your Mom's House," with his wife, comedian Christina P. and "Two Bears, One Cave" with fellow comedian Bert Kreischer. Segura also producers multiple podcasts under his YMH Studios brand. 

Table of Contents

A Note from the Author ix

My Father, the Savage 1

Paging Dr. Stupid 9

Bruce Bruce 17

I Had a Dream 21

Que Viva El Perú, Carajo! 33

Chris Tucker 41

Five Star 45

West 59

Lost Wallet 69

Jill Scott 83

A Lot Too Much 89

Concha Mi Madre 101

America's Most Wanted 107

Serena Williams 113

Road Dog 119

Bank Shot 137

No Fat Chicks 145

Chris Noth 151

What's the Theme? 157

Trickin' on the Track 171

Omarion 175

Pick One 177

What's Wrong with Me? 183

Save the Word 195

Photo Essay 203

Mike Tyson 211

Pulitzer Prize Submission 225

Acknowledgments 227

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