The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

by Mark Manson

Overview

#1 New York Times Bestseller

Over 10 million copies sold

In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.

For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected modern society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.

Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.

There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780062457714
Publisher:	HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:	09/13/2016
Pages:	224
Sales rank:	973
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.30(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Mark Manson is a star blogger with more than two million readers. He lives in New York City.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 Don't Try 1

The Feedback Loop from Hell 5

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck 14

So Mark, What the Fuck Is the Point of This Book Anyway? 20

Chapter 2 Happiness Is a Problem 23

The Misadventures of Disappointment Panda 26

Happiness Comes from Solving Problems 30

Emotions Are Overrated 33

Choose Your Struggle 36

Chapter 3 You Are Not Special 41

Things Fall Apart 47

The Tyranny of Exceptionalism 57

B-b-b-but, If I'm Not Going to Be Special or Extraordinary, What's the Point? 60

Chapter 4 The Value of Suffering 63

The Self-Awareness Onion 70

Rock Star Problems 76

Shitty Values 81

Denning Good and Bad Values 86

Chapter 5 You Are Always Choosing 90

The Choice 91

The Responsibility/Fault Fallacy 95

Responding to Tragedy 102

Genetics and the Hand We're Dealt 105

Victimhood Chic 110

There Is No "How" 112

Chapter 6 You're Wrong About Everything (But So Am I) 115

Architects of Our Own Beliefs 120

Be Careful What You Believe 123

The Dangers of Pure Certainty 129

Manson's Law of Avoidance 136

Kill Yourself 139

How to Be a Little Less Certain of Yourself 141

Chapter 7 Failure Is the Way Forward 147

The Failure/Success Paradox 149

Pain Is Part of the Process 153

The "Do Something" Principle 158

Chapter 8 The Importance of Saying No 164

Rejection Makes Your Life Better 170

Boundaries 172

How to Build Trust 181

Freedom Through Commitment 186

Chapter 9 …And Then You Die 190

Something Beyond Our Selves 195

The Sunny Side of Death 200

Acknowledgments 211

Editorial Reviews

I had to get past my disdain for potty-mouth-as-marketing-tool to open The Subtle Art…and I'm glad I did…Manson devotes a lot of time to explaining what a jerk he was while growing up, and how his screw-ups ultimately compelled him to be a better person—which made him a happier person. Happier, not deliriously happy. The Subtle Art is not so much about finding happiness as about finding adulthood—which is not so terrible, when you think about it.

The New York Times Book Review - Judith Newman

“Resilience, happiness and freedom come from knowing what to care about--and most importantly, what not to care about. This is a masterful, philosophical and practical book that will give readers the wisdom to be able to do just that.” — Ryan Holiday, New York Times bestselling author of The Obstacle is the Way and Ego is the Enemy

“Mark’s ability to dig deep and offer amazing, yet counter-intuitive, insight into the challenges of life makes him one of my favorite writers, and this book is his best work yet.” — Matt Kepnes, New York Times bestselling author of Travel the World on $50 a Day: Travel Cheaper, Longer, Smarter

“This book hits you like a much-needed slap in the face from your best friend: hilarious, vulgar, and immensely thought-provoking. Only read if you’re willing to set aside all excuses and take an active role in living a f***ing better life.” — Steve Kamb, bestselling author of Level Up Your Life and founder of NerdFitness.com

“The opposite of every other book. Don’t try. Give up. Be wrong. Lower your standards. Stop believing in yourself. Follow the pain. Each point is profoundly true, useful, and more powerful than the usual positivity. Succinct but surprisingly deep, I read it in one night.” — Derek Sivers, Founder of CD Baby and author of Anything You Want: 40 Lessons for a New Kind of Entrepreneur

“An in-your-face guide to living with integrity and finding happiness in sometimes-painful places… This book, full of counterintuitive suggestions that often make great sense, is a pleasure to read and worthy of rereading. A good yardstick by which self-improvement books should be measured.” — Kirkus Reviews

From the Publisher

The opposite of every other book. Don’t try. Give up. Be wrong. Lower your standards. Stop believing in yourself. Follow the pain. Each point is profoundly true, useful, and more powerful than the usual positivity. Succinct but surprisingly deep, I read it in one night.

Derek Sivers

Mark’s ability to dig deep and offer amazing, yet counter-intuitive, insight into the challenges of life makes him one of my favorite writers, and this book is his best work yet.

Matt Kepnes

This book hits you like a much-needed slap in the face from your best friend: hilarious, vulgar, and immensely thought-provoking. Only read if you’re willing to set aside all excuses and take an active role in living a f***ing better life.

Steve Kamb

Resilience, happiness and freedom come from knowing what to care about—and most importantly, what not to care about. This is a masterful, philosophical and practical book that will give readers the wisdom to be able to do just that.

Ryan Holiday

2016-07-04
An in-your-face guide to living with integrity and finding happiness in sometimes-painful places.Popular blogger Manson (Models: Attract Women Through Honesty, 2011) criticizes self-help books for their fundamentally flawed approach of telling readers they're special, assuring them that they can surpass—but, notably, not solve—problems, and encouraging them to embrace their exceptionalism. The author sternly disagrees, showing readers "how to pick and choose what matters to you and what does not matter to you based on finely honed values." Unlike simple affirmations or personal growth books designed to flatter or soothe, Manson urges readers to "change what you value and/or how you measure failure/success.” Having better values creates better problems to solve, and those achievements will lead to a legitimately improved life. Throughout, the author continually slaps readers sharply across the face, using blunt, funny, and deceptively offhand language when expanding on his key principle: "Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different….There’s absolutely nothing admirable or confident about indifference. People who are indifferent are lame and scared. They’re couch potatoes and Internet trolls….They hide in a gray, emotionless pit of their own making, self-absorbed and self-pitying, perpetually distracting themselves from this unfortunate thing demanding their time and energy called life.” Manson's cheeky but thoughtful opinions combine with in-depth advice in such sections as "You're Wrong About Anything (But So Am I)" and "How To Be a Little Less Certain of Yourself” (hint: “if it’s down to me being screwed up, or everybody else being screwed up, it is far, far, far more likely that I’m the one who’s screwed up”). This book, full of counterintuitive suggestions that often make great sense, is a pleasure to read and worthy of rereading. A good yardstick by which self-improvement books should be measured.

Kirkus Reviews